and it has been an eye opener of our current situation.
I was thinking we were doing great and that maybe we
needed to work on a few things, but as the days passed
and we talked to Doctors more and more and did a lot of
tests it was clear of what our life might be like.
So here is the conclusion of our hospital visit.
Dulce is choking on her saliva, she is also choking on food.
It is no longer safe for Dulce to eat by mouth.
Dulce could choke at any moment at which time she will
stop breathing and suffocate on her own saliva.
As you can imagine this complicates things. We have gone
over our options.... there were two.
One was a medication that has A LOT of side affects and if
it was not affective it would make it impossible to rescue
Dulce if she stopped breathing. The second was to do what
we have been doing until this point, but we would still be
able to rescue Dulce when she has the same episodes.
I feel grateful for a husband who shares the
same love, feelings and thoughts about our little girl because
this decision was not an easy one and I knew there
was only one decision I could live with.
I could not choose something that would make it
impossible to rescue my little girl and just have to
watch helpless while she passes away from oxygen deprivation.
I chose to always be able to rescue Dulce and fight for
her life as I do everyday. Even though this will change
things somewhat because now it is 24 hour care.
I have no idea how I will be capable of constantly being ready
at any second to face a life or death moment and being able
to have the right answer at that second. I now have to worry
about each and every time she swallows and question is she
aspirating? Is she going to choke? Will she get out of it this time?
If I ever thought my load was heavy... this takes it to a new level.
I'm devastated for what the future might hold.
No matter what I do it is never enough.
