On October 8th Dulce started having seizures.
She was gray due to lack of oxygen and even
though I have seen her this way many times before
it is scary every time.
Whenever she has one of these episodes I just
snap right into this mode of knowing exactly
what to do and at the right time.
I get quite calm and know exactly what I can
and can't handle. At times it can be a little
confusing knowing exactly when I need the ambulance
because it can be a very fine line between me being
able to handle it and then being in serious danger
because I waited too long.
So however you look at it Dulce's life is
in my hands always. I pray everytime that
I will be able to make the right call and that she will come
out of it ok.
I had a strong feeling this particular day that she would have a seizure.
I didn't ignore it, I just knew it would happen sometime that day.
So I just went on about my day and waited.
It was amazing how I didn't question it, I just was very calm
knowing that it would happen.
I know the Lord strengthens me during these times.
When the first seizure happened it was like someone was shouting
in my head "You can do this". It was an extra boost of confidence.
I know the Lord is by my side every time Dulce has a seizure or when she
stops breathing. I think that if I didn't feel his presence, I would
not be able to do half of the things I do and have done in the past.
Dulce ended up having 5 serious seizures, and everyone of them she
turned grey and I had to give mouth to mouth and a lot of oxygen.
I was at a critical point where it was going to be too dangerous to
take her to the hospital alone and I decided at that moment that if
she had just one more bad seizure I was calling the ambulance.
I prayed and prayed that she wouldn't have another.
The Lord answered my prayer and we were able to sleep for a few hours.
The next day I took her to PCMC and we were admitted.
I was in good spirits just being there because I knew we were at
the right place at the right time. If anything went wrong
there is no other place I would rather be.
Going to Primary's this time was different than any other
time I've ever been there.
I was comforted just by being there. I had never really felt
that other than when Dulce was in the NICU.
I felt at home.
My home away from home.
We only stayed one night and were able to find out
that she had an upper airway illness and due to the
stress of being sick Dulce had those seizures.
Now I can look back and realize how blessed I was.
How blessed and protected Dulce was because I allowed myself
to be an instrument in her life. By saving her every time.
I will continue to save her forever.
